I’ve been known to open a can of worms or two over the years, and I’m probably going to open another one right now. If you don’t like worms, I apologize.
For more years than I care to remember, I’ve jokingly referred to myself as the old fat white guy. I heard various replies of ‘oh, you’re not fat’ or ‘you’re not old’. No one has ever told me ‘you’re not white’. Fact is though that by current standards I am indeed white. Well, not exactly white. Some have told me that I have an olive complexion, but what does that mean?
I know that there are green olives and black olives, and maybe a few other colors to boot, so what does exactly does that mean? Does it mean that my skin is black, or perhaps worse, green? Hmm, let me think . . . Olive skin? Green olives in this context, that would make me a green man. Wow! Being a little on the short side, that would make me a little green man. Back in the 40’s that would make me an alien from another planet. Oh Great! Now I’m an alien from another planet. I’m so confused.
Let’s go back to my statement about me being white. Is that really true? Given the demographics currently in use today, I am white, but again, that’s not true. I recently painted a room in my house and got some white paint on my hand. I looked at it and was shocked to find that the color of my hand contrasted sharply with the white paint. Were I indeed white, my skin would have blended nicely with the paint.
Can you tell that I am really offended by classified as white? This classification irritates me so much that when filling our paper work for this or that reason, I invariably come to a section where I have to identify as White, Black, Hispanic, Asian etc., or Other. I always check Other. Why? Because I don’t identify with being in any category I’ve seen listed.
Maybe they should include two other races. Human and Illegal Alien. Oh My!! How politically incorrect and insensitive. Oh bother. The Human race would be my first choice, and in my case, illegal alien would also be perfectly acceptable because, if you recall, I’m the little green man from another planet who must be here illegally. But why illegal? Because I didn’t clear customs when I landed here, which means I’m here illegally.
Seriously though folks, with respect to skin color, I’m color blind. Race, color, gender, or any other descriptor for that matter, really means nothing to me. I treat everyone with respect regardless of any of the above. People get it, the media and politicos don’t.
In closing my friends, I ask a simple favor. If you ever see a little green man walking down the street, wave and say hello. If you do, I will surely return the friendly gesture with a wave and a smile.